January - Serve and Return!

Supportive and responsive relationships with caring adults are essential for brain development, lifelong health, and overall well-being throughout childhood and adolescence. These relationships extend beyond parents and caregivers - teachers, school staff, and support personnel also play a critical role in fostering positive interactions that influence children's development.

1 - Notice the serve

Share their focus of attention!

Children and teens constantly send signals about their interests, feelings, or needs at home, in the classroom, or during school activities. This might involve pointing or asking a question. It could mean raising a hand, expressing curiosity about a subject, or showing nonverbal cues like frustration or excitement. Teachers and support staff can tune in to these moments by observing and engaging during lessons, play, or one-on-one interactions.

Why?

Adults validate children’s interests, abilities, and needs by noticing their serves. This builds trust, encourages exploration, and strengthens relationships at home and in educational environments.

2 - Return the serve

Support and encourage!

Adults can return serves by providing comfort, guidance, or encouragement. This might mean offering acknowledgement or a playful response. It could also involve giving feedback during a lesson, helping a student who is struggling with a concept, or offering verbal encouragement during a challenge. School staff might return serves by actively listening to a student’s concerns and providing tailored support.

Why?

Returning serves helps children and teens feel heard, understood, and valued in all areas of their lives. Whether at home or school, this sense of connection fosters emotional security, curiosity, and resilience.

3 - Give it a name

Use language to identify what children or teens are seeing, feeling, or experiencing. At home, parents can label emotions 'You’re feeling proud!' or objects 'That’s your book!'. In the classroom, teachers can name academic concepts, social interactions, or emotional states 'You worked hard on that problem!' or 'It sounds like you’re frustrated because you didn’t get picked for the team'. Support staff can also name and validate feelings during discussions about personal or academic challenges.

Why?

Naming helps younger children develop language skills and understand their environment. For older children and teens, it improves emotional intelligence and provides tools for effectively expressing their thoughts and feelings.

4 - Take turns…and wait

Keep the interaction going back and forth!

After returning a serve, allow the child or teenager time to respond. This may involve waiting for a toddler to babble back, a primary-age child to answer a question, or a teenager to reflect on a discussion.

Teachers and support staff can model this behaviour in the classroom by encouraging dialogue, giving students time to formulate their responses, and facilitating group discussions. Patience is essential for creating a rhythm of give-and-take.

Why?

Taking turns builds communication skills, self-control, and mutual respect. At school, this practice helps students develop confidence in their abilities to share ideas, solve problems, and collaborate effectively.

5 - Practice beginnings and endings

Children and teenagers often signal when they are ready to start or end an interaction. At home, they might do this by turning away, changing focus, or saying, “I’m done!” At school, students may show signs of losing interest, changing the subject, or exhibiting fatigue. Both parents and school staff should pay attention to these cues and adjust their interactions to meet the child's needs. This might involve introducing new activities, providing breaks, or acknowledging transitions.

Why?

Supporting children's signals fosters autonomy and boosts their confidence during changes. This approach also enhances opportunities for positive, respectful serve-and-return interactions in the future.

Serve-and-return interactions are essential for healthy development in all environments, including home, school, and community settings.

When parents, caregivers, teachers, and school support staff are involved, children and teens benefit from a network of responsive and attentive adults who nurture their growth. These interactions can take various forms, such as playful exchanges with toddlers, academic feedback for school-age children, or meaningful discussions with teenagers.

Each of these moments helps strengthen the relationships and skills that children need to thrive throughout their lives.