PACE is a way of relating to children, especially those who’ve experienced adversity, that builds trust, emotional safety, and strong relationships. Developed by psychologist Dan Hughes, it’s not a strategy to do, but a way to be. A 15 min video with a focus on challenging behaviours. The content in the slides shown in the video are worth pausing and reflecting on.
PACE is a way of relating to children – especially those who’ve experienced adversity – that builds trust, emotional safety, and strong relationships. Developed by psychologist Dan Hughes, it’s not a strategy to do, but a way to be.
🎈 P = Playfulness
- Keep your tone light, warm and open.
- A little humour (used gently!) helps lower stress and build connection.
- It's about being approachable - lightness, not sillyness.
🗨️ “Oops – that chair’s gone walkabout again!”
🗨️ “Looks like we’re having one of those mornings.”
✅ A = Acceptance
- Accept the child, even when their behaviour is challenging.
- Show them they’re still valued and safe, no matter what.
🗨️ “It’s okay to feel angry – I’m still here.”
🗨️ “You’re having a tough time, and that’s alright.”
🔍 C = Curiosity
- Wonder with, not interrogate.
- Aim to understand what's behind the behaviour.
- Curiosity shows children they're not bad – they're struggling.
🗨️ “I wonder if something felt unfair just now?”
🗨️ “I’m curious what was happening for you then.”
💛 E = Empathy
- Be alongside them emotionally.
- Show that their feelings make sense.
- No fixing, no judgment – just understanding.
🗨️ “That must have felt really hard.”
🗨️ “It’s okay to feel overwhelmed. You’re not alone.”